I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately. A lot of thinking, praying, church-going, and of course, too much drinking. So pretty much business as usual.
In my travels through my own mind I’ve come to but one conclusion -I’ve discovered the meaning of life……
Eating pussy.
Women require three types of lovers…..
Lover 1: The Romantic. He spends time kissing her exactly where she needs to be kissed and can tell right away if the back of the neck is not the appropriate spot. He tells her how beautiful she is. He looks her square in the eyes and says “I cannot live without you in my life. You are my reason for existing. My life is meaningless without you.”
Lover 2: The Bad Boy. He grabs her, rips her clothes off and says, “I don’t care if you were on the phone with your mother, I need you right now and I’m taking you right here on the kitchen sink.” It’s possible the woman may not climax with this lover, but this is the lover she will think about when she is left alone masturbating, because such a lover would never allow a woman to masturbate.
Lover 3: The Oral Master. The vagina needs to be eaten. Properly, selflessly, and for the good of the universe. This is the only way to truly make a girl happy. Learn what she likes, as each of them is completely different. One might like a lot of spit, the other might want the lights on. This is the most important of the three types of lovers.
Each man must be all three lovers in one.
Sex is why we drink. Sex is why we gamble. Sex is why we have babies.
Without woman, without the vagina, we wouldn’t have things such as electricity or fire. We wouldn’t have Twitter or text messaging. The vagina is the reason we as human beings were put on this earth. So eat up. The very existence of man is depending on you.
